I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
