Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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