; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
