Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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