Pappa wants mamma naked
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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