dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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