Your face is a jimmy john
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Your penis caused this!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
