Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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