I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
