OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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