i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
