Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
