I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
