Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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