Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
