and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
These tits shall not be calmed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
