Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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