Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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