check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
