if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
