Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I love having hate sex.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
