They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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