Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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