Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize