The maid of honor just puked.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
