Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize