what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
