Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
NoShamevember. You game?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
