Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
