he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
