If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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