I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
