if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
