Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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