SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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