You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
