Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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