i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
