Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
