this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize