I am puke
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
