all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
