I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize