just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
