Already got asked if we're dating
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
