Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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