Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
