New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
