so let's talk penis.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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