Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
