He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
