I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
