i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
