Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
