Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
