I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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