it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
