Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
