Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
