Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
