Just fell off a train. Bad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
