lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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