Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
