Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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