we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
