that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I need water and some morals
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I have post one night stand depression
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
